the reluctant pioneer

This blog has taken a turn toward the introspective. I know I mentioned recently that I have a lot of "unpacking" to do, and while I tend to avoid airing all my laundry online, there are some things that I think are worth sharing. Not a current picture, but a vision of what's to come. The other day one of our daughters pranced into the kitchen and made some remark that prompted Mark to say, "You have a good self-esteem." She had no idea what that meant and wanted an explanation. Mark's words struck me. I haven't asked him if they were his own or if he picked them up elsewhere. Really, that's not the point. He said, "It's seeing yourself as God sees you." It's not ...as I see me. ...as Mark sees me. ...as my children see me. ...as my friends see me. ...as the world sees me. I think the thing that makes this so striking is that in each of those not sentences, there are people who are fitter, smarter, prettier, more ...

It is my entirely unbiased opinion that I have the best OB in the world. ...and I mean no offense to my brother-in-law who also happens to be an OB. When I saw her yesterday, for my 2-week-overdue 20 week appointment, she asked if we'd discussed genetic screening for this pregnancy. I said no we hadn't, but that I always pass. For the sake of full disclosure on her part, she mentioned that there's a new blood test that samples my  blood, i.e., non-invasive for baby, that looks for chromosomal abnormalities in fetal cells in my bloodstream. With zero risk to baby, some may say, "Sure, why not?" However, my knee-jerk reaction was to decline the test. On my 25 minute drive home, I had a chance to examine that reaction and assess if I was sure I wanted to decline. After all, we always get the 20-week ultrasound (or in this case, the 22+ week ultrasound) which examines baby's whole body - was this blood test any different? My conclusion is that it is quite di...